Photo source: artsjournal.com
For the last couple of months, I’ve been maintaining my weight. I eat healthy, I workout 6 times a week, I’m active, but the scale is not moving. It’s not a big mystery, I eat healthy, but I eat too much. I realize that it’s been like that for a long time now. Why? I lost 50 lbs, why am I not losing the last 15 lbs?
Over the last few months I’ve told myself :
“I’m ok the way I am”
“bah, it’s a special occasion, or a party or an social event”, so always an occasion to stray from my eating plan
“I want to prove to myself that I can maintain”
“There’s no hurry”…
But finally today I had a light bulb moment, I think I FINALLY know WHY I’m staying where I am. Yes, yes, all those reasons I’ve been telling myself for months, they are really excuses to not reach my goal, the goal I had set for myself. The REAL reason is that I’m afraid. I’m afraid to reach my goal, I’m afraid to reach the finish line, I’m afraid that once I reach it, I’ll abandon my healthy lifestyle. That because I reached my goal I will start eating crap again, moving less. I have good reasons to be afraid because after all, that’s exactly what I’ve done in the past. I’m no stranger to weight loss, I have lost a lot of weight many times, to only gain it all back. Each time I have reached my goal, I gave up the good habits, as if those good habits were only to lose weight to then give them up.
But now, I understand, I am conscious of that fear, and I am fully confident that once I do reach the finish line I will not give up. Why? Because I am conscious of it, because the last few years have taught me once and for all that having a healthy lifestyle is crucial for my health, not just a number on the scale, and because life has proven to me that when I do live a healthy lifestyle I feel better, I have more energy, a better quality of life. So here I am, finally ready to reach the finish line I gave myself over 3 years ago!